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Using Your Temerament During this Crisis

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As we continue to deal with the Coronavirus, many of us are still S heltering in Place - I want to put out some ideas for weathering this storm. One of these is the idea that we need to remain who we are, at a deep level, and do what we do best, that is, what is natural for us.  Of course most of us will be doing this already, but I find that if we make a note of our temperament and use it to understand ourselves we can use this to make sure we are doing what is most important to us. When I work with groups I sort them into four groups - based on their temperament - and then I give them a problem to solve.  I then see how their temperament affects the solutions they propose.  I use the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to do this.  Here is a little short hand version of it: There are four temperaments within the MBTI:  Guardians - People of this type like to keep the world running smoothly - They are the community builders and they are responsible and cooperative.  They like t
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Quarantine Fatigue - Creating Your own Sturcture will Help

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All of us are starting to feel quarantine fatigue.  During this mandate to Shelter in Place many of us are anxious about what is going to happen next.  We find ourselves frustrated and stressed with this change and worrying about the changes to come - we miss our routines, our daily tasks and our co-workers and friends.  But one of the things I know is that when we are faced with change we can deal with it by creating some structure in our lives.  Sitting at home and taking each day as it comes without any real structure is hard for anyone, even those of us who are open ended creative types.  So I have some suggestions for minimizing the fatigue you may feel by creating some structure in your life.  Like the young woman in the picture here we need to make a calendar of the activities we want to be doing each day of the week. In my own case I have worked from home both writing and seeing clients virtually for some time now, but even someone who normally works from a home office
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I Wish You Love and Lessons

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Last week, I suggested that you reflect on and evaluate your work while we shelter in place during the Covid19 pandemic. I also quoted Freud who said love and work are the most important things and I agree with him.  We need meaningful work and we also need love and relationships in order to feel like our lives are worthwhile. But sitting down in a quiet place and reflecting on the job and career you have is a solitary activity while reflecting on your relationships, especially while you are sheltering in place with those same people could be fraught with misery and disruption, therefore, I suggest you act on the love you have for these people rather than evaluating that love.  So here are some suggestions for doing just that: Become kinder and more forgiving Thank them for what they do for you Praise them for their kindness and forgivness toward you Work together to do something you both want Play together and have fun  Notice and comment on thier uniqueness  Nurture t
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We Can Intentionally Create New Possibilities

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As we sit in our homes sheltering in place and trying to make it through this difficult time, some of us will use this time to intentionally create new possibilities for ourselves.  In my last post I said I would list some questions you could ask yourself and contemplate since you now have time on your hands, which in truth, most of us have never had before. I read an article in The Atlantic today that said this time was like the French Revolution, a time that saw much upheaval and turmoil.  But the article was optimistic and hopeful and I am as well, but what I say is that if we all go back to "normal" once this is over and continue doing what we have always done, then we will have missed a great opportunity.  This time, this sheltering in place, is a gift and how we use it will have long lasting effects, both for us personally and for the world.   We are all in this pandemic together, so answer these questions with that in mind. So let's get started.  Using a not
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Sheltering in Place - The Perfect Time to Reflect on Your Life path

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In many ways this Sheltering in Place mandate has a silver lining, in fact many silver linings.  One is that all of us are more focused on our family and friends and even though we may not be able to be with them in person, we can communicate with them via email, text, telephone, Facebook, Instagram, Facetime, Skype or Zoom.  Another one is that if you have children you are able to spend unlimited time doing things with them that you probably did not have time to do before we were all told to stay home.  You also have time to clean out that closet, your garage or as my youngest daughter and her husband are doing, re-model your backyard. But the silver lining I would like to suggest is to do all those things, but also take some time, alone, and go deep and reflect on your life path and make sure you are going in the right direction for you.  Below are some suggestions to help you get started. Morning Pages - Julia Cameron came up with the concept of Morning Pages in her book, The
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Create a Joy Basket

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Like the little girl in the picture, we need to create and use a Joy Basket during this time of Sheltering in Place.  Like her we need to have things in our basket that amuse us, entertain us, challenge us to take risks and figure things out and that move our mood to an optimistic and joyful place.   Children are naturally good at this and will do it, no matter where they are.  I remember years ago when my youngest daughter was about two years old we moved temporarily to Minneapolis while her father took a six month training course for his company.  We rented a two bedroom furnished apartment while we were there.  Well, my daughter used the entire apartment, and especially the kitchen as her very own Joy Basket.  We have a picture of her crawling into the cupboards and banging on pots and having the time of her life. Make It Hands On -  Not Virtual  You can crate a Joy Basket for this time of sheltering in place.  Below are some ideas of what to put in it, but make it a real ba
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The Silver Lining of Sheltering in Place

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My Gift to You at this Time  Free Counseling and Coaching  It's been almost a week since the people in America have been told to go home and shelter in place.  So like most everyone, that is what I am doing.  Then last night on the PBS News Hour, I saw Yo Yo Ma talking about and demonstrating his idea of playing music as a gift to people to help alleviate the stress of this whole thing.  He calls it Songs of compfort - see below for link .  So when I woke up this morning I thought that's the kind of thing I should do - so I am offering  my services to people as a gift during these stressful and uncertain times.  What I am offering is free counseling and coaching until the world rights itself back to a normal place.  I am setting aside two days a week to do this from 1 PM to 4 PM Mountain Standard Time on Wednesdays and Fridays until further notice.  I will chose people based on the email they send me.  I will chose those I feel I can help and whose challenge fits w
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