I Wish You Love and Lessons

Last week, I suggested that you reflect on and evaluate your work while we shelter in place during the Covid19 pandemic.

I also quoted Freud who said love and work are the most important things and I agree with him.  We need meaningful work and we also need love and relationships in order to feel like our lives are worthwhile.

But sitting down in a quiet place and reflecting on the job and career you have is a solitary activity while reflecting on your relationships, especially while you are sheltering in place with those same people could be fraught with misery and disruption, therefore, I suggest you act on the love you have for these people rather than evaluating that love.  So here are some suggestions for doing just that:
  • Become kinder and more forgiving
  • Thank them for what they do for you
  • Praise them for their kindness and forgivness toward you
  • Work together to do something you both want
  • Play together and have fun 
  • Notice and comment on thier uniqueness 
  • Nurture their strengths and ignore their weaknesses
  • Love them for who they are and appreciate your differences 
But let's say that your intimate relationship is not in good shape and you have been wondering for some time whether you should leave this person, in other words, sheltering in place with this person feels difficult and maybe even dangerous.  First of all, if you truly feel in danger then take action to take care of yourself - call a hotline about potential domestic violence and find some place else to live until this sheltering in place is over.  

For most of you, reading this, your relationship is not dangerous, but for some of you it could be  frustrating and unfulfilling.  First of all, the suggestions above can and will affect your relationship in a positive way and some of you will come out of this time with better, more connected relationships than you had before.  

Some of you, of course, will be married to or living with a difficult person.  The above ideas will work to improve things as well, but long term you may feel that your best bet is to end the relationship.  I believe all relationships are gifts from the Gods for us to learn and grow.  So before you make any final decisions consider the questions below:  
  • What am I learning about myself from this relationship?
  • How is it making me stronger?
  • What have I accomplished as a result of this relationship?
  • What can I still do, if I remain in this relationship?
  • What can I do that is important to me if I leave? 
What I know is that life is a learning and growing process and everything we do is a potential learning experience and sometimes the relationships that cause us the most grief are the best and most profound one's for our growth and learning.  Plus, once you learn a lesson, that lesson goes away since you no longer need to learn it.  So today, I wish you many lessons and much love.

Blessings,  Lorraine


New Visions - Wellness Within 
A Learning and Growing Resource
You Have to See it to Believe it and Take Action to Make it Real 
720-258-5963
lorrainebanfield@msn.com - www.lorrainebanfield.co





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